


flew like a moth to you, sunlight

by starrydreams



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Anal Sex, First Time, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, baz thinking a lot, listen............this is just their first time man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25153795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrydreams/pseuds/starrydreams
Summary: Simon had a nasty habit of turning every kiss into a makeout session; it was as if this was the only way he knew how to kiss me.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 3
Kudos: 104





	flew like a moth to you, sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> let me just say. this took me months to write bc i only wrote it at 2am or when i was half asleep. thanks to grammarly for making this make any sense. also UHHHHHHH babys first nsfw fic!
> 
> can i write simon? no clue! i tried!!

Simon had a nasty habit of turning every kiss into a makeout session; it was as if this was the only way he knew how to kiss me. (Some masochist part of me wondered if this was how he used to kiss Agatha and I have to pause to push aside the burning jealousy in the pit of my stomach to remember that Simon is  _ mine _ now.) This isn’t a complaint. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Most people don’t tend to like it when people shove their tongues down their throats, but I had been fantasizing about Simon doing that since fifth year. Every time he came home from class, slightly frustrated about homework and he’d practically pin me to the bed to kiss me, I thought back to every time I wanked off in the shower to the exact same thing.

Simon was far from frustrated now. It was a lazy Saturday and Bunce had gone off to do something I didn’t care enough about to remember. We were in his room kissing like we had in my room over Christmas break. He was even doing that thing where he makes me reach up for his mouth, and I do. Every time. I was too busy kissing him, raking my fingers through his hair, and wondering for the millionth time if this was all fake and I had actually died in the coffin with the numpties. I was so drunk on the idea of Simon that I hadn’t realized he had been sneaking a hand down my jeans until I felt him palm my dick.

I gasped and pulled away, trying not to let my eyes widen too much from the sudden shock, but I know they are. Simon looked like he got caught stealing out of a cookie jar. I must have let the silence stretch on too long because he started rambling.

“I’m sorry. I just thought-”

“Snow.”

“-well, you’ll say I didn’t think, but I-”

“Snow.”

“I had done this with Agatha when we-”

I grit my teeth. “ _ Simon. _ ” That stopped him. He stared at me with bright blue eyes and I wanted to strangle him for bringing  _ her _ up. “Use your words.”

There was a flash of something in his eye— anger, I’m sure— but he took a deep breath. He moved his hand like he just remembered it was there. I bit back a noise at the loss. “We haven’t… you know.”

“Use more words, Snow. I know you have a better vocabulary.”

He groaned. “We haven’t had sex! And I don’t know if that’s because you don’t want to or not, but I want to and…”

“You thought the best course of action was to shove your hand down my trousers?”

“...Yeah.”

Despite myself, I let out a laugh. Of course. That’s the most Simon thing he could have ever done, and it only adds fuel to the fire burning inside me that was my love for him. I took his face in my hands and yanked him down toward me in a kiss. He planted his hands on either side of my head and I think,  _ yeah, that’s better. _

When we pulled away, he looked like a question was on his tongue. “Spit it out,” I said, with a hint of the cruel tone I used to have as kids, now as a playful thing.

“So… is that a yes?” He was trying to contain a boyish grin. 

“‘Is that a yes?’ Simon Snow, you’re an idiot. Touch me.”

There was a brief look of childlike joy before his face fell into that of the sexy Simon I knew. I wondered how long I would last with him just touching me. I had always dreamt of this, but this was the first time it was happening. Period. (Merlin, I feel like a Victorian woman, saving myself for him.)

He shoved his hand back down my trousers with so grace at all. I was so offended I almost asked him to  _ start over _ because I certainly wasn’t going to have sex with an  _ animal _ , but then he started to palm me through my pants and I lost all ability to speak. Sucking in a breath, I lifted a hand to bite my knuckle to keep quiet, even though there was nobody else in the apartment. I couldn’t imagine sex not being quiet after all of the silent jerking off I did in the shower, too scared for Simon to hear me over the water if he were in our room while I tried to will my love for him down the drain after I finished.

Simon’s hand stopped moving. I looked down at him with a scowl to find him pouting.

“What?” I snapped, hand resting on my chest for now.

“I want to hear you.”

“Excuse me?”

Simon moved his hand and I moaned before I could stop myself. If all the blood in my body wasn’t rushing to my dick, I’m sure my face would be flushed.

“Like that.” He said, hand stilled again.

“Merlin, Simon, fine, but you have to  _ touch me _ for me to make any noise.”

He looked pleased with that and I mentally groaned. That was another win for him in our everlasting rivalry, now more healthy than destructive. I feared how many wins he could get during this; I would do just about anything if it meant getting attention from him like this. I would have to turn all of his socks pink and hide the butter after this.

He resumed palming me and I nearly covered my mouth again, out of habit. Instead, I gripped the sheets lightly with the hand and allowed myself to moan for him. I felt as if I should have been embarrassed but then he leaned down to start kissing my neck and every last bit of restraint or pride I had was thrown out the window. I craned my neck to give him better access and I felt him grin against my skin. It made me shutter.

What started off as simple kisses turned into sharper and sharper bites and I had to wonder if he had fangs too he never told me about. I winced at one point and he nearly pulled away, eyebrows starting to knit in concern, but I quickly fisted a hand in his golden curls and kept his head in place above my neck. This seemed to be hint enough, thank Merlin, and he continued. I was sure there would be bruises later, but I couldn’t help but wonder how long they would last. (I would eventually run low on blood and need to feed; would they fade then? Probably.)

After a while, Simon decided he had enough of my now marked up neck and moved back to my lips. I eagerly kissed back, relaxing with the familiarity of it. All of this was so new to me— I never had anyone touch me before or give me hickeys. I had only gotten as far as Simon and I went, which was mostly kissing and hand-holding. Sure I wanked in the shower, but this was infinitely different. This was everything I ever wanted. Why was I so nervous?

Maybe it was because I was sure Simon had done this before. He moved expertly, even though this would be his first time with a man. He knew what to do well enough and I was at his mercy. For a change, he knew more than I. Quite frankly, it was plenty uncomfortable to be out of my depth. Is this what Simon felt like in an English class? Snakes alive—

I must have been too lost in thought because I suddenly felt Simon’s hand wrap around my dick. I made a choked noise and my eyes flew open, startled for the second time of the night. (Two losses. I didn’t have a clue how I’d make up this ground.) I was immediately greeted with Simon’s all too cocky expression and I wondered if punching him in his stupid face would ruin the mood.

But he started to move his hand, jerking me, and I groaned. “Get my pants off if you’re going to do that.”

Simon obeyed and pulled his hand out to start fidgeting with the button of my jeans. I quickly go to help him shove them down along with my pants, eager to get him touching me again. Why he couldn’t jerk me off  _ and _ undo my pants is beyond me, but I suppose Simon isn’t good at multitasking.

I let out a relieved sigh as my cock his freed from my too-tight jeans, quickly followed by a moan as he started to touch me again. I buck into his hand shamelessly. I’ve thrown all of my pride out the window; I’d find it in me to be embarrassed about it later.

He started kissing me again, for s lack of things to do with his mouth. He pulled away after a moment, though, with a furrowed brow. I’m about to ask him what was wrong when he speaks up, telling me to undo my shirt. My mind is whirling, still trying to process everything Simon’s been doing. He growled when I didn't start right away, which is motivation enough for me.

It took me twice as long as it usually would to unbutton my shirt. I can hardly muster the focus with Simon’s hand wrapped around me. He must’ve gotten bored waiting for me to finish because, suddenly, I felt him start to press open mouth kisses to my thighs. I let out a shaky breath and willed myself to get the last three buttons undone as quickly as I could. I needed that mouth all over me.

I threw the shirt blindly off the bed once I finally got the blasted thing off. It would be a wrinkled mess by the time we were finished with… this, but the hungry look Simon gave me when he realized it was gone was worth it. (Snakes alive, that look was going to haunt me for at least a month. At least he gave me something new to wank off to when I can’t visit him.)

Simon practically pounced on me, kissing and biting over my chest. I moaned loudly because I don’t care anymore about who may hear us. All I can think about is Simon saying he wanted to hear me, and, right now, I would do anything he asked of me.

He was busy bruising my collarbone when I felt his hand pull away from me. It let out an undignified whine when I didn’t feel it return after a few seconds, opening my eyes to see what he was up to (when had they closed?). I blinked, the sight of him blindly reaching for his nightstand being terribly sobering from the pleasure-drunk I had been just moments ago. Finally finding purchase on the drawer handle, he opened it to pull out lube and a condom.

I suddenly felt very vulnerable and much more aware of the situation at hand. Here I was, lying underneath Simon, completely naked, while he hovered over me with all his clothes still on. It made me feel terribly self-conscious and I had to fight the urge to run or say something I’d regret to deflect those feelings.

I don’t know why I was so nervous. I wanted this. I had been wanting this since we were teens. Logically I know that everyone is most likely this nervous the first time they get fucked, but vulnerability has never been my strong suit. It made me feel like lashing out.

Simon seemed to take note of the unpleasant expression on my face, silently asking a question with his:  _ What’s wrong? _

I took a deep breath before answering. We had this argument before. I needed to get better at… talking about things. Communication.

I exhaled. “Take your clothes off, you animal. It’s rather unfair I’m the only one naked here, especially since you’re planning on fucking me.”

Despite the insult, Simon smiled, giddy. He leaned back and slipped his shirt overhead, throwing it in a completely different direction from where I threw mine. He moved his hands down to the button of his trousers and I rushed to help him undo it, just eager to have him inside me already. He grinned, all smug, and I briefly considered pushing him off the bed.

Before I could, my eyes caught sight of all the freckles and moles covering every inch of him and I stopped breathing. Simon was less fit than me, sure, a little on the scrawny side from all the homes he was in, but he was still  _ beautiful _ . I wanted to kiss every dot that I saw, but that would have to be for another time. Simon was already moving on.

He had the lube again, fingers slicked. I sucked in a breath, sharp, as he pushed one finger inside of me. I squeezed my eyes shut reflexively, Simon working the finger in me, trying to get me stretched before he added a second.

He placed a soft, surprisingly chaste, kiss to my cheek, then another on my lips. He said nothing, but I understood the message anyway.  _ Relax. Breathe. _ And so I did. Breathe, try to relax my muscles, open my eyes…  The look he was giving me when I opened them was incredibly mushy. I think my heart melted a little.

After that, it was easier. He stretched me open for him and I couldn’t believe how good it felt. I never did this to myself in the years of my silent masturbation. It felt like it was crossing a certain line and I wasn’t ready for that. But here, now, that wasn’t a concern. I could only focus on how fucking hot this all was.

Deciding he was pleased with how stretched I was, Simon pulled his fingers out of me. I pouted at the loss and he laughed-  _ laughed! _ I reached a hand up to pinch him, but he merely pushed it away while fiddling with the condom wrapper. I dropped my arm back to my side, unwilling to try again.

It didn’t take Simon long to get himself lubed up once he got the condom on and he positioned himself at my entrance. Feeling nervous again, I moved to hold the hand next to my head, intertwining our fingers. His expression softened, rubbing my hip with his thumb gently. It was incredibly calming.

He pushed himself in slowly and I gasped at the intrusion. He leaned down to kiss me, distracting me from the slight pain and discomfort of his shallow thrusts, inching more and more until he was fully inside me. I let out a little sigh when he finally was and he peppered kisses all over my face while I got used to the feeling.

I wiggled my hips after a couple of minutes and Simon took that as a sign to start moving again. He started off slow, but when I began to meet him with his thrusts, wanting more, he growled a little and pushed harder, faster. I threw my head back with an embarrassingly loud moan when he hit the perfect spot. I swear I could see stars, just like the night when he pushed his magic into me back at Watford.

He bit at my neck again, giving me new marks or nipping over ones he already left. I gripped his hand tight and he squeezed my hip in response, short nails half-dug into my skin there. Merlin, Simon wasn’t even trying to be rough, I don’t think. It made me eager to see what he would do when he  _ did _ . 

I used my free hand to wank in time with his thrusts since he was too busy holding onto me with his own. Simon seemed to be in his own little world, anyway, eyes shut tight as he bucked his hips into me and sucked at the skin of my neck. I felt so hot all over, like I was burning alive, like Simon was setting me on fire. Maybe being alight wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was.

There was only so much of this I could take, between Simon slamming into me and getting myself off. I was incredibly close, so much so I didn’t even get to express as much before I was tumbling over the edge, my vision going white from the pleasure. I vaguely registered that Simon groaned above me, ramming into me harder for a few moments before he came as well.

Once we both came down from our highs, Simon pulled out slowly and flopped on the bed beside me. I, instinctively, pulled him close, and started to rake my fingers through his curls. He let out a happy hum that I knew would be purring if he was capable of such. He turned his head to press lazy kisses to my jaw.

We stayed like that for a while, silent, exchanging kisses every so often. It was so gentle and peaceful that I thought Simon had fallen asleep. He spoke up after a moment, though, voice laced with exhaustion, “‘S good?”

I held back a laugh and kissed the top of his head. “Yeah. You were fucking great, Simon.”

He beamed at the praise but the excitement lasted only a second before he closed his eyes again and drifted off to sleep. I laid there a while longer, playing with his hair until I could be sure he was asleep. When I was confident enough that I wouldn’t disturb him with my movements, I carefully extracted myself from his grip and slipped out of bed.

Slowly, I picked up the articles of clothing I tossed on the ground, tidying up Simon’s, too. I needed a shower before I could get all cuddly and sleep— I had no intention of dozing off with my own cum on me.

I lingered in the doorway a moment, watching Simon sleep before turning and heading to the bathroom to wash up.

**Author's Note:**

> pwease leave a kudos/comment if u liked :D!


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